"These aren’t even that good. I think I could do better." That’s one of the reasons I started writing. Because I was reading other articles and that thought came to mind. I’ve even thought that about books. Famous books. Brilliant books.

“這些都不夠好，我覺著自己能做得更好。”這就是我開始寫作的原因之一，因為我讀別人的文章時就有了那樣的想法。我甚至對書也有過那樣的想法，包括名著和經典著作。

Who the fuck am I to think that?

我是誰呀?怎么有資格那么想?

That’s my ego.

這就是我的自我價值感。

And I’m grateful for it.

而且我很感激這種自我價值感。

Because I never would’ve started writing without it. I never would’ve found something I love to do without it. I never would’ve been able to quit my 9-5 without it.

因為要不是自我價值感，我絕不會開始寫作，絕不會發現自己喜愛的事，絕不會放棄朝九晚五的生活。

But...

但是……

Sometimes I get too caught up in it. I’ll let other people’s accomplishments get inside me and make me feel bad. I become jealous. I become resentful.

有時我太過于深陷其中，心里會一直想著別人的成就從而產生對自己的不滿，我開始嫉妒、開始憤恨。

I let myself be tricked into think I’m not good enough, or doing enough, or being enough. That’s when my ego becomes unhelpful.

我開始這樣想：我不夠好，或做得不夠，或有很多不足。就在那時我的自我價值感開始變得全無益處。

I don’t think having an ego is good or bad.

我覺著自我價值感既不是好事也不是壞事。

I think it’s good and bad.

我認為它其實好壞兼備。