10Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate’s potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bakeyour roommate’s potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He justdidn’t belong."
收集一堆土豆、給它們分別畫上臉、取名字。然后把那個以你室友命名的和其他土豆分開。幾天后把它烤來吃了,跟你的室友解釋說:“它就是跟大家合不來嘛……”
2.Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern。
把房間里所有東西都移到墻邊,一邊很認真地盯著地板看,一邊問你室友:你覺得一頭大象能有多重呢?
3.Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it’s growing. Growing!"
在你的鼻子上畫一條細線,每天加粗一點,然后對著你的室友喊:“看!它在生長!在生長!”
4.Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you’re doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
買一些刀回來,每天晚上磨,邊磨邊看著你的室友小聲嘟噥:“快了、就快了……”
5.Collect hundreds of pens andpile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil。
買一大堆筆回來,在房間的一邊排列好。然后只把其中一支放在房間的另一邊,對著它大笑。
6.Tell your roommate, "I’ve got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint.When you recover, say you can’t remember what the message was. Lateron, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this upfor several weeks。
對你室友說:“我有個重要的消息要告訴你!”然后裝暈倒。接著等你醒過來的時候就跟他說你忘記是什么消息了。等一會,又說“哦!我記起來了!”然后繼續裝暈倒。這樣持續玩上個幾星期。
7.While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan。
趁你室友外出的時候,把你的鞋子沾在天花板上,等他回來的一瞬間坐在地板上,摸著頭大叫痛。
8.Make a sandwich. Don’t eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry。
做個三明治,不要吃、把它丟在地板上。然后就無視那塊三明治、直到你室友受不了把它給扔了。這時候你就可以大聲喊餓,問:“我那該死的三明治哪兒去了!?”
9.Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You’re back!" as loudas you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keeplooking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn’t you be going somewhere?"
每次你室友回來的時候都大聲歡呼:“哇!你回來啦!!”然后圍著他跳舞跳上五分鐘,接著就一直看表,問他:“你是不是該出去一趟啊?”
10.Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
跟你的米酥(一種零食)講話,然后突然!表現出你被冒犯的樣子,把裝米酥的碗摔在地上、并一腳踹上去。跟你的室友說你不會打掃,并解釋:“我就是要看他們被折磨的樣子!”