In the past 10 years, I’ve realized that our culture is rife with ideas that actually inhibit joy. Here are some of the things I’m most grateful to have unlearned:
過去十年里,我意識到我們的文化雖然充滿了想法卻也抑制了快樂。下面是我更希望不要學習到的東西:
inhibit [?n’h?b?t]vt. 抑制;禁止
1. Problems are bad.
難題都是壞事。
You spent your school years solving arbitrary problems imposed by boring authority figures. You learned that problems suck. Real problems are wonderful, each carrying the seeds of its own solution. Job burnout? It’s steering you toward your perfect career. An awful relationship? It’s teaching you what love means. Confusing tax forms? They’re suggesting you hire an accountant. Finding the solution to each problem is what gives life its gusto.
在校期間,你總是被無聊的權威人士逼著去解決各式各樣的難題。你開始覺得這些難題太糟糕了。真正的難題是很棒的,因為每個難題都需要你找到方法來解決它。工作倦怠?這是促使你朝著完美的事業(yè)方向邁進。人際關系糟糕?這是教你愛的真諦。各類稅款讓你發(fā)瘋?這是在告訴你要請一個會計了。給每個難題找到解決方法也能給你的生活帶來樂趣哦。
arbitrary [’ɑ?b?t(r?)r?]adj. [數(shù)] 任意的;武斷的;專制的
suck [s?k]vt. 吸吮;吸取 vi. 吸吮;糟糕;巴結 n. 吮吸
2. It’s important to stay happy.
保持快樂很重要。
Solving a knotty problem can help us be happy, but we don’t have to be happy to feel good. If that sounds crazy, try this: Focus on something that makes you miserable. Then think, "I must stay happy!" Stressful, isn’t it? Now say, "It’s okay to be as sad as I need to be." This kind of permission to feel as we feel—not continuous happiness—is the foundation of well-being.
解決一個棘手的難題能讓我們很開心,但我們可不能為了開心而開心。如果這聽起來有點暈的話,那我換個表述:想想那些讓你難過的事情,然后告訴自己“我必須開心”。是不是頓覺壓力山大了?現(xiàn)在你不妨說“該難過的時候就難過”。讓我們的心情順其自然——持久的快樂并不是幸福的基礎。
knotty [’n?t?]adj. 棘手的,難解決的
3. I’m irreparably damaged by my past.
過去深深的傷害了我。
irreparably [?’r?p?r?bli] adv. 不能恢復地;不能挽回地
Painful events leave scars, true, but it turns out they’re largely erasable. Jill Bolte Taylor, the neuroanatomist who had a stroke that obliterated her memory, described the event as losing "37 years of emotional baggage." Now it appears we can all effect a similar shift, without having to endure a brain hemorrhage. The very thing you’re doing at this moment—questioning habitual thoughts—is enough to begin off-loading old patterns. For example, take an issue that’s been worrying you and think of three reasons that belief may be wrong. Your brain will begin to let it go.
痛苦的事情總會留下疤痕,的確是這樣,但它們也會隨著時間淡去。神經(jīng)解剖學家Jill Bolte Taylor因中風失憶了,她把這稱為失去了“37年的情感包袱。” 其實不需要中風,我們也能經(jīng)歷類似的情感轉變。你現(xiàn)在正在做的事情——懷疑以往的想法——已經(jīng)足夠你把過去那些事都翻篇了。比如,找一件曾讓你困擾的事情,再想想三個原因來證明這種想法也許是錯的。你的大腦就會忘記這個困擾。