Being sociable can mean many things.

說話的技巧有很多。

But in some aspects, there is only one criteria in judging whether one is sociable or not. And that is whether this person can understand how other people think or not.

但從某種意義上來(lái)講，評(píng)判一個(gè)人會(huì)不會(huì)說話只有一個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，那就是“能否懂得換位思考”。

When some people talk with others, they’ll fall into silence after a few sentences.

有些人聊天的時(shí)候，還沒說幾句話，雙方就陷入了沉默。

They want to find something to talk about but don’t know what to say.

很想主動(dòng)找點(diǎn)話題，但又不知道怎么開口。

And if this kind of things happen too often, some of them will start to avoid communicating with others. And some of them even start to doubt if they are incapable in communicating.

這種情況多了，有的人就會(huì)開始逃避與人交流，甚至懷疑自己是不是有社交障礙。

And there is another kind of people. When they talk with other people, after a while, the people who they talk to will become not so happy.

還有些人聊天的時(shí)候，聊著聊著，對(duì)方就不開心了。

This is not because they are too emotional.

這并不是因?yàn)閷?duì)方太情緒化了。

This problem comes from us.

出問題的經(jīng)常是我們自己。

It’s because we cannot understand the change in their emotion. It’s because we cannot understand the implication they give out.

是我們沒有領(lǐng)會(huì)對(duì)方情緒中的變化，沒有理解對(duì)方的各種暗示。

And thus we entered the dangerous zone in their hearts and created a barrier between us and them.

于是踏入了對(duì)方心靈的雷區(qū)，讓雙方產(chǎn)生了隔閡。

You should stand in other people’s shoes.

你應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)穿別人的鞋。

You should see from other people’s point of view when you talk to them.

在談話的時(shí)候，應(yīng)該去從別人的視角看問題。

When you can understand what people want to say, you’ll know what to say to them.

當(dāng)你能明白對(duì)方想說什么的時(shí)候，你才能知道應(yīng)該和對(duì)方說什么。

This is the true sociability.

這，才是真真的“會(huì)講話”。

This is the kind of communication that brings people closer.

這，才是真正讓人與人更緊密的交流。