I “Heard” the Love

When I was growing up I do not recall hearing the words “I love you” from my father. When your father never says them to you when you are a child, it gets tougher and tougher for him to say those words as he gets older. To tell the truth, I could not honestly remember when I had last said those words to him either. I decided to set my ego aside and make the first move. After some hesitation, in our next phone conversation I blurted out the words, “Dad… I love you!”

There was a silence at the other end and he awkwardly replied, “Well, same back at ya!”

I chuckled and said, “Dad, I know you love me, and when you are ready, I know you will say what you want to say.”

Fifteen minutes later my mother called and nervously asked, “Paul, is everything okay?”

A few weeks later, Dad concluded our phone conversation with the words, “Paul, I love you.” I was at work during this conversation and the tears were rolling down my cheeks as I finally “heard” the love. As we both sat there in tears we realized that this special moment had taken our father/son relationship to a new level.

A short while after this special moment, my father narrowly escaped death following heart surgery. Many times since, I have pondered the thought, if I did not take the first step and Dad did not survive the surgery, I would have never “heard” the love.

隨著我逐漸長(zhǎng)大，我不記得爸爸對(duì)我說(shuō)過(guò)“我愛(ài)你”。如果從孩提時(shí)候起，爸爸就從來(lái)沒(méi)對(duì)你說(shuō)過(guò)“我愛(ài)你”，那么隨著他年齡的增長(zhǎng)，就會(huì)愈來(lái)愈難張口。實(shí)話說(shuō)吧，我也實(shí)在記不起來(lái)上次什么時(shí)候?qū)λf(shuō)過(guò)那些話。我決定放開(kāi)自尊，采取主動(dòng)。猶豫了一陣后，在下次打電話時(shí)我突然說(shuō)出了這些話：“爸爸……我愛(ài)你！”

電話的那端沉默了一陣，然后他有些害羞地說(shuō)：“呃，我也愛(ài)你！”

我輕聲地笑了起來(lái)，說(shuō)：“爸爸，我知道你愛(ài)我，我知道當(dāng)你準(zhǔn)備好時(shí)，你就會(huì)把想說(shuō)的話告訴我?！?/p>

一刻鐘后，媽媽打電話過(guò)來(lái)，有些緊張地問(wèn)：“保羅，一切都好嗎？”

幾個(gè)星期過(guò)后，爸爸在掛電話前說(shuō)了句“保羅，我愛(ài)你?！贝螂娫挼臅r(shí)候我還在上班，在終于“聽(tīng)”到愛(ài)的聲音后，我的淚水順著臉頰流了下來(lái)。由于我們兩人都坐在那兒淚流滿面，我們知道這特別的時(shí)刻使我們的父子關(guān)系達(dá)到一種新境界。

這個(gè)特別時(shí)刻剛過(guò)不久，爸爸就進(jìn)行了心臟手術(shù)，不過(guò)幸免于難。從那以后，我時(shí)常仔細(xì)回味，如果我沒(méi)有走出第一步，如果爸爸的手術(shù)沒(méi)有成功，我就再?zèng)]有機(jī)會(huì)聽(tīng)到愛(ài)的聲音了。