Lesson 133 Smile, Everybody!

"When you’re smiling,the whole world smiles with you." These are the words taken from an old song. These words must have given Tomoji Kondo a bright idea. He started smiling classes. Now, they’re all over Japan. People from all walks of life, aged 20 to 83, attend these classes.

As you enter the class, you must shout out, "Konbanwa!"(Good evening!) as loudly and cheerfully as possible. Then you’re supposed to make direct eye contact and smile as you shake hands with your classmates.No bowing is necessary. Laughing is not allowed, either. According to Kondo, smiling immediately makes you fell better. Sound like a good idea? Why not give it a try?

Lesson 134 Konbanwa, Everybody!

Sato, a Japanese student, goes to a smiling class in Beijing.

(S=Sato; T=teacher)

S: Konbanwa, evali-badi! (everybody!)(The whole class laughs.) Ha!Ha!Ha!

T: What on earth is that?

S: Wow! You see. It works. My classmates are so happy they’re laughing their heads off.

T: They’re laughing at you, Mr.Shatou.

S: No,no,no. My name is Sato,not Shatou.(The class laughs again.) I think they’re laughing at you.

T: Whatever! Anyway, try to just say, "Good evening!" in English next time. OK?

S: OK. Gud-e-va-ling! (Good evening!) How’s that?

T: I haven’t got a clue what you’re saying.

S: Thank you. Ha!Ha!Ha!

Lesson 135 The Roaring Englishman

A strange thing happened in London recently. A large number of Englishmen started roaring and eating food off the floor. They were behaving like a pack of lions. No, they weren’t going bananas. They were normal people like you and me. But they watched a "therapist" on a daytime TV show. They were convinced by him that roaring is good for you. "Roaring helps people who are uptight to relax," he said.

The "therapist" turned out to be a hoaxer. He goes around the world playing tricks on people. It’s all for fun. So if you don’t want to feel like a fool, watch out! You can’t always believe what you see, read or hear.

Lesson 136 Letting off Steam

(E=Englishman; G=girlfriend)

G: Have you gone mad? Why are you roaring your head off like a lion?

E: Rrrrr...ah!

G: Hey, have you gone off your rocket or what? Cut that out!

E: I’m letting off steam. The guy on TV said it’s good for me.

G: Oh, really? Meowww! Meowww!

E: Hey, what are you doing?

G: The girl on the radio said meowing like a cat helps to cure indigestion.

E: Come on, that’s absurd. You can’t believe everything people say, you know.

G: Look who’s talking!

E: Uh...OK, wise guy. You win.

Lesson 137 Going to the Barber’s

In the old days, going to the barber’s was as simple as ABC. You sit down,the barber cuts your hair, you pay, you leave and that’s it. Nowadays, the hairstylist will ask you how you would like your hair done.How on earth do I know? I’m no barber. So what do I do? I go to the same guy all the time. As soon as he sees me, he says, "Same as before?" I reply with a smile, "Yes, please." In twenty minutes the job is done.

For those of you who don’t know what to say to the barber, just remember the two S’s--short and simple.When I was abroad, it always worked. Don’t forget to give the barber a tip before you leave, though. It’s their custom. If you don’t, make sure you don’t go back or you might get something else cut as well.

Lesson 138 Don’t Catch a Cold

Angela bumps into her old friend, Ben, on the street.

(A=Angela; B=Ben)

A: Hey, Ben, you look as if you need a haircut.

B: Yeah, I will be wearing pigtails soon if I don’t get my hair cut. But I hate going to the barber’s.

A: Why don’t you get a crew cut? That way you won’t need to go to the barber’s so often.

B: Better still, maybe I should go around bald, right?

A: Hey! That’s cool!

B: You bet! That’ll be so cool I might catch a cold.

A: No problem. Just wear a wig.

B: You know, Angela, you do actually have a sense of humor.

A: Well, when it comes to talking about your hair, what could be funnier?

B: Get out of here, you clown!

Lesson 139 The Dancing Cop

Do you want to be a traffic cop in Thailand? Are you a good dancer? If you aren’t, you won’t stand a chance.

Traffic cops in Thailand dance as they direct traffic. These cops are good entertainers. They twist and turn and make fancy movements with their white-gloved hands. Everyone agrees they help ease tension on the roads. And because they make people smile and feel happy, the image of Bangkok policemen has improved by leaps and bounds. As a result, motorists have become more cooperative and understanding. Odd as it may be,it seems to work. Don’t forget to also keep your eye on the road, though. If you don’t, you might cause an accident. You can be sure the cops won’t be dancing then.