1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

我的心肝，我的摯愛，我美麗的賢妻，

Marrying you has screwed up my life。

我這輩子就毀在你手里。

2. I see your face when I am dreaming。

你的容顏依稀入夢境，

That’s why I always wake up screaming。

于是我在尖叫中驚醒。

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

善良、聰慧、多情而性感，

This describes everything you are not。

可惜這些你一條都不占。

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

愛是上天賜福，愛情多么美好，

But I only slept with you ’cause I was pissed。

可我與你同眠只是因為喝高。

5. I thought that I could love no other

曾以為一生只愛你一個，

-- that is until I met your brother。

直到遇見你的二表哥。

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you。

嬌艷的紫羅蘭，鮮紅的玫瑰，甜蜜的糖，就像你一樣美。

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head。

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;

我渴望你溫柔的擁抱，

But don’t take that paper bag off your face。

但別把你臉上的面具摘掉。

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

我愛你的明眸，你的臉龐，你的微笑，

Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

媽的，我真是說謊不打草稿！

9. My love, you take my breath away。

愛人啊，你簡直讓我窒息，

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

你在哪沾上的一身臭氣？

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,

我對你的深情無法付諸言語，

Except for maybe "Go to hell."

除了一句“滾一邊去”！