Three Passions I have Lived For

吾之三愿

by Bertrand Russell

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy—ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of my life for a few hours for this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness—that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what—at last—I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine…A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

吾之三愿

貝特蘭·羅素

吾生三愿，純樸卻激越：一曰渴望愛情，二曰求索知識，三曰悲憫吾類之無盡苦難。此三愿，如疾風，迫吾無助飄零于苦水深海之上，直達絕望之彼岸。

吾求愛，蓋因其賜吾狂喜——狂喜之劇足令吾舍此生而享其片刻;吾求愛，亦因其可驅寂寞之感，吾人每生寂寞之情輒兢兢俯視天地之緣，而見絕望之無底深淵;吾求愛還因若得愛，即可窺視圣哲詩人所見之神秘天國。此吾生之所求，雖慮其之至美而恐終不為凡人所得，亦可謂吾之所得也。

吾求知亦懷斯激情。吾愿聞人之所思，亦愿知星之何以閃光……吾僅得此而已，無他。

愛與知并力，幾攜吾入天國之門，然終為悲憫之心拖拽未果。痛苦之吟常縈繞吾心：受饑餓之嬰，遭壓迫之民，為兒女遺棄之無助老叟，加之天下之孤寂、貧窮、苦痛，具令吾類之生難以卒睹。吾愿窮畢生之力釋之，然終不能遂愿，因亦悲極。

吾生若此而已，然吾頗感未枉此生;若得天允，當樂而重為之。