JUST like a band or gang of superheroes needs members who have different talents and powers, a circle of friends should have exactly the same thing.
正如樂隊(duì)或者是超級(jí)英雄小團(tuán)伙需要不同才華和能力的團(tuán)員一樣，朋友圈也需要這些。
“It’s important to have diversity and to be able to look for support from a variety of sources,” says clinical and coaching psychologist and founder of the The Positivity Institute, Dr. Suzy Green. “They also help us to keep broader perspective on life.”
“有不同種類的朋友很重要，它能讓你從不同的渠道獲得幫助。”臨床指導(dǎo)心理醫(yī)生、The Positivity Institute的創(chuàng)始人蘇士 格林(Dr. Suzy Green)博士說到：“他們還能幫助我們拓寬對(duì)生命的看法。”
Domonique Bertolucci, life coach and author of The Happiness Code, agrees.
生活導(dǎo)師以及《幸福密碼》的作者多.貝托魯奇(Domonique Bertolucci)十分同意這一觀點(diǎn)。
“You need different types of friends in the same way that you need food from different food groups. Different types of friends serve different purposes and nourish and enrich our lives in different ways.”
“你需要不同種類的朋友，正如你需要不同種類的食物。不同的朋友有不同的功能，他們通過不同的方法滋養(yǎng)、豐富著我們的生活。”
While many of us are lucky to count our real friends on one hand, there are certain types of people it’s good to have around. So, how many do you know?
很多人很幸運(yùn)有幾個(gè)數(shù)的來的知心朋友，但是跟某些人做朋友也不錯(cuò)。那么，你了解多少呢?
THE FRIEND WHO IS UP FOR ANYTHING
“時(shí)刻準(zhǔn)備著”的朋友
People are busy, we get it. But there’s nothing more frustrating than having to reschedule your re-re-re-scheduled catch-up. Everyone needs a friend who you can call at the drop of a hat. A friend who says “hell yeah, I’m up for that”. That’s why it’s good to have a mate who you don’t need to issue a 28-day notice to just to meet for a frappuccino. It’s refreshing (the friend, that is, not necessarily the frappuccino.) “This friend is the flexible, no frills friend who makes your life a breeze. Nothing is ever too hard and they’re open to doing new things and changing plans at short notice,” says Dr. Green. While Bertolucci agrees, “Their enthusiasm is contagious and you always have more fun when they are around.”
我們都知道人們很忙。世界上最令人沮喪的事情莫非是你得一直一直一直一直調(diào)整自己的進(jìn)度表。大家都需要一通電話就隨時(shí)能現(xiàn)身的朋友，一個(gè)說“恩，我馬上過來”的朋友。這就是有一個(gè)你無須提前28天預(yù)約只為喝杯咖啡的好朋友的好處了。這能讓人放松(跟這類朋友不是只能喝咖啡)。“他們很隨和，不做作，讓你的生活過得輕松。任何事情都難不倒他們，他們樂于挑戰(zhàn)新事物，一接到通知，他們就會(huì)改變?cè)杏?jì)劃。”格林博士說到。貝托魯奇也同意這種說法：“他們的熱情會(huì)感染你，在他們身邊，你總是覺著有樂趣。”
THE FRIEND WHO YOU ASPIRE TO BE
你想成為他那樣的人的朋友
Oprah Winfrey once said: “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher”. And we all need to live life a little bit closer to Oprah. These people challenge you to be the best version of yourself. The only downside is that sometimes they can be infuriating and inspiring in equal measure. Dr. Green’s advice: “This friend is only an important role model if they behave in ways that are authentic and genuine. They will see the best in you and give you important feedback on both your strengths and weaknesses.”
歐普拉.溫弗瑞曾說：“在你身邊的人應(yīng)該是能提升你的人。”我們都需要過著歐普拉說到的那種生活。這些人讓你成為最好的自己。唯一的缺陷就是有時(shí)他們令人氣惱，有時(shí)又給人力量。格林博士的意見：“如果他們表現(xiàn)出誠實(shí)可靠的一面，那么他們才是一個(gè)重要的榜樣。他們能看到你身上最好的一面，同時(shí)對(duì)于你的長處及缺陷都能給出重要的反饋。”
THE FRIEND WHO DOESN’T KNOW ANY OF YOUR OTHER FRIENDS
不認(rèn)識(shí)你其他友人的朋友
We like integration. We like killing two birds with one stone by catching up with several groups of friends at once. But there are times when you need to make an S.O.S call to a friend who is completely uninvolved and removed from a situation who can offer objective advice so it a bonus that your friendship exists without orbiting around your other ones. “There is a level of privacy to this friendship that doesn’t exist in friendship circles,” says Bertolucci. “It will be easier to share some of your hopes and dreams, fears and concerns knowing that they are not going to be discussed when you’re not around.”
我們都喜歡整合。我們喜歡同時(shí)擁有多個(gè)朋友圈子以達(dá)到一石二鳥的目的。但是，有時(shí)你需要給一個(gè)身處事外的朋友打一通求救電話，征得他客觀的意見，你們的友誼可以長存而不必圍繞別的友誼存在，這是一個(gè)好處。“這種友情之間有種隱私，不存在于朋友圈里，”貝托魯奇說到：“你不在場的時(shí)候他們不會(huì)討論你，這使人們更樂于分享自己的愿景、夢想、擔(dān)憂和顧慮。”
THE FRIEND WHO’S PAINFULLY HONEST
十分誠實(shí)的朋友
An honest friend will not always tell you what you want to hear, but they’ll certainly tell you what you need to know like if he/she is really that into you. When you’ve got a crisis on your hands or need to make a quick decision they are your go-to. They’re also there to keep you away from mixing paisleys and stripes. This type of friend has the strength of “feedback” and “is a pearl who will tell it to you straight when others won’t or will sugarcoat things at the very least,” says Dr. Green. But she warns that this friend is someone who does it with good intentions and for your own benefit.
誠實(shí)的朋友不會(huì)一直說你愛聽的，但是他們肯定會(huì)告訴你你需要了解的事情，他們真的關(guān)心你。當(dāng)你身陷危機(jī)，需要迅速做決定的時(shí)候，你就應(yīng)該去找他們。他們讓你從一團(tuán)亂麻中脫身。這種朋友有“評(píng)斷”的能力，“是當(dāng)別人不會(huì)告訴你事實(shí)或者粉飾事實(shí)時(shí)，他們會(huì)跟你實(shí)話實(shí)說的珍寶。”格林博士說到。但是她提醒到，這種朋友這么做一定是出于良好的目的，確實(shí)是為你好的。
THE FRIEND YOU’VE KNOWN LONGER THAN YOU’VE KNOWN YOURSELF
你了解他更甚于了解自己的朋友
History. Sometimes it works to your advantage, other times it doesn’t. This is that friend who sees you out of the context of your job, your relationship, your other friends and your life as it is now. This is the friend who knew you when you had pimples and a bowl cut. There is something special about this person because they feel like home. It’s nice and comforting to be around someone who has known you forever. “This is a friend you never have to put on a brave face for,” says Bertolucci. “They know you better than you know yourself and accept you unconditionally.”
歷史，有時(shí)對(duì)你有利，有時(shí)則不然。這種朋友會(huì)跳出你現(xiàn)有的工作、感情、其他友人以及你的生活的框架來看你。他們非常了解你。他們很特別，因?yàn)樗麄兿窦胰恕８私饽愕娜嗽谝黄鸶杏X很舒服。“在他們面前你無須故作堅(jiān)強(qiáng)，”貝托魯奇說到：“他們比你更了解你自己，并且無條件的接受了你。”
