When we get super-busy, some friendships fall by the wayside. But that doesn’t mean you can’t revive the relationship. Even if a lot of time has elapsed, it’s worth saving those nurturing friends who know you deep down and whom you can confide in and call in a crisis. Wanting to rekindle a friendship isn’t enough, though. You have to find a way to reconnect, which can be difficult after months or years of sporadic-or zero-contact. Here are the best first moves to make to get your friend back in your life.
我們的生活越來(lái)越忙碌,朋友間的交情漸漸變淡了,但這并不代表友情就此終止。即使已很久沒(méi)聯(lián)系,也要留住那些真正和你心靈相通、關(guān)鍵時(shí)刻值得信賴的益友。然而光想不做可沒(méi)用。在長(zhǎng)久不聯(lián)系、彼此都已疏遠(yuǎn)的情況下,你得突破萬(wàn)難敵找出一個(gè)重拾聯(lián)系的方法。以下是給你的幾點(diǎn)小建議,讓你的老朋友重新回到你的生活中:
1. Write Her a Facebook Message
去她的社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)頁(yè)面上留言
Getting in touch electronically is one of the easiest ways to catch up. But what do you say in that first note? Start with some information about how busy you’ve been and then add in details about what you’ve been doing. Sharing updates about your life can encourage your friend to reply with the same openness. Once you’ve reconnected, make plans to see each other in person. You can’t substitute Facebook or other forms of social media for real relationships.
網(wǎng)絡(luò)時(shí)代,用電子方式聯(lián)絡(luò)是最簡(jiǎn)便不過(guò)的了。不過(guò)第一句該說(shuō)什么呢?說(shuō)說(shuō)自己最近很忙,并可以具體說(shuō)說(shuō)自己到底在忙些啥。因?yàn)橹鲃?dòng)分享自己的生活能鼓勵(lì)你的朋友也反饋同樣的信息。一旦連絡(luò)上后,可以約著出來(lái)見(jiàn)個(gè)面。畢竟社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)上的交情并不能代表真正的感情。
2. Reconnect Over a Favorite Pastime
找回舊日共處時(shí)光
An activity that you used to do together can rev up a stalled friendship. Since that drew you together in the past, it should reignite positive memories and bring you closer again Start by emailing your friend with a list of shared favorite activities and suggest doing one of those. Anything from going shopping to visiting that coffee shop you both love can rebuild your bond.
通過(guò)重溫曾經(jīng)一起做過(guò)的事可以很好地重塑友情。過(guò)往的經(jīng)歷會(huì)重燃你們美好的回憶,并因此讓人變得更為親密。不如給老朋友發(fā)封郵件,列上一串以前曾經(jīng)一起做過(guò)的事,向TA建議再去做一次。只要能讓你們重拾舊關(guān)系,無(wú)論是外出購(gòu)物、或去喜歡的咖啡館小坐,都很好。
3. Send a Handwritten Card
寄張手寫賀卡
A note in the mail can be a welcome surprise for a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. And there’s no need to wait until a holiday for an excuse to send it; a "just because" card can restart your relationship anytime. Women are busy and don’t want to feel that the friendship comes with too many strings attached. So avoid mentioning the past or specific dates when you’re available to meet up. Instead, leave the message open-ended, explaining that you’re available for lunch or drinks in the next couple of weeks, she says. And remind her of the best way to contact you.
對(duì)許久不聯(lián)系的朋友來(lái)說(shuō),一封突如其來(lái)的信絕對(duì)是個(gè)驚喜。并非只有假期才能寄卡片,因?yàn)橐粡垺皢?wèn)候卡”能立即拉近你們的關(guān)系。女人身上的負(fù)擔(dān)很繁重,她們不喜歡壓力太大的友情。因此,不要在卡片里跟對(duì)方約某月某日某時(shí)的具體見(jiàn)面事項(xiàng),而應(yīng)該婉轉(zhuǎn)地提出自己未來(lái)幾周都有空、想約她出來(lái)吃頓飯或者喝杯咖啡,并順便附上自己的聯(lián)系方式。這樣更好。
4. Set a Phone Date
找時(shí)間煲電話粥
Hearing a friend’s voice can be a great way to reconnect. But with hectic schedules, you may wind up playing phone tag for a while before you catch each other. That’s why it’s best to schedule a chat. Leave a voicemail with times you’re available. It may feel weird to call out of the blue, but people understand. Once you’ve got your friend on the phone, be sure to set up time for another phone date or an in-person meeting, she adds.
用真實(shí)的聲音交流是極贊的老友聯(lián)系方式。不過(guò)人人都有自己的安排,電話暢聊也許需要點(diǎn)運(yùn)氣。這就是為啥我們建議你先預(yù)約一次“電話聊天” 時(shí)間。給她留條語(yǔ)音信息,告訴她你什么時(shí)候有空。你可能會(huì)覺(jué)得沒(méi)頭沒(méi)腦突然邀約挺奇怪的,但一般人們都能夠理解。只要你們電話通了,那就趕緊約下一次煲電話粥的時(shí)間吧,面對(duì)面聊天也行。