Last April, just after dinner, Brian sat me down on the couch and said something that was the equivalent of the heart-stopping phrase, "We have to talk."
去年四月,剛剛吃過晚飯,Brian 讓我坐在沙發上,用一種嚴肅而又緊張的語氣說道:“我們得談一談”。
I remember this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, followed by the thought, Oh no, what have I done?
我依舊記得這種不是很好的感覺就像是有東西在胃里翻滾。緊隨其后的是想,哦,不,我做了什么?
With the passing of my sister, Debbie, in February, we had both been through several brutal months, trying our best to survive as she slipped away from us. Neither one of us were getting much sleep, both of us deep in our grief, and I was finally back at work trying to tackle not one, but three, gigantic projects.
在過去的兩個月,對我們來說是十分殘酷的,我們盡最大的努力走出失去姐姐Debbie的陰影里。因為沉浸在悲痛中,我們整夜的失眠,難以入睡。我也終于回到我的工作崗位,解決三個大項目。
In the sweetest, most gentle voice, Brian began to share with me his massive concern for my health and well-being. With tears in his eyes, he told me he really felt that if I didn’t stop the long, intense hours and stressing out so much, he was afraid I would get very sick and possibly even "work myself to death."
在Brian 最甜美,最溫柔的聲音,他開始與我分享他的一些情緒,他表示很關心我的健康和內心的幸福感。淚水在他的眼中打轉,他告訴我,他真的覺得,如果我不停止長期而又高強度的工作,他很怕我會生病難受,甚至“過勞死。”
As someone who has always been able to accomplish major things, juggle lots of simultaneous projects and withstand huge amounts of pressure, I normally would have just assured him that I could "power" through this period and deal with it all.
正如有些人可以很好的完成一些重要的事情,忙里忙外大量同時進行的項目,并承受大量的壓力,我向他保證,我也是其中一員,有足夠的力量應付這一切。
But there was something in the way he was approaching the conversation that made me stop and listen. With his sincere, openhearted vulnerability, I really, really heard him.And, I got that he was right.I was no longer the person who could do it all. My nervous system was shredded. I was out of "reserves" and running on fumes.
但是他采取了另一種方式靠近我,讓我安靜下來聽他說話,和他交談。隨著他的真誠,坦難以掩飾的關心,我真的,真的聽到了他內心的聲音。他是對的!我不再是那個可以頂著壓力完成一堆一堆項目的人了。現在我的神經系統處于半撕裂狀態,處于儲存能量的階段,整個狀態感覺在云端漫步。
As I sat there, trying to take it all in, trying to figure out what to "do" about my situation, I remembered something Debbie whispered to me in the middle of the night:"Take more vacations."I spent the next several days looking the calendar, trying to see when I could take a vacation and for how long.
我坐在那兒,試圖想清楚我的一些情況,試圖知道應該怎么做才能很好的解決這一情況。我突然想起Debbie夜半時曾在我耳邊說:“給自己個假期吧”。接下來的幾天,我一直在看日歷,試圖找出我可以休假多長時間。