of parents & children 論父母與子嗣

the joys of parents are secret; and so are their griefs, and fears: they cannot utter the one; nor they will not utter the other. children sweeten labours; but they make misfortunes more bitter they increase the cares of life; but they mitigate the

remembrance of death. the perpetuity by generation is common to beasts; but memory, merit, and noble works, are proper to men: and surely a man shall see the noblest works and foundations have proceeded from childless men; which have sought to express the images of their minds where those of their bodies have failed: so the care of posterity is most in them that have no posterity. they that are the first raisers of then-houses, are most indulgent towards their children; beholding them, as the continuance, not only of their kind, but of their work; and so both children and creatures.

父母底歡欣是秘而不宣的，他們底憂愁與畏懼亦是如此。他們底歡欣他們不能說，他們底憂懼他們也不肯說。子嗣使勞苦變甜，但是也使不幸更苦。他們增加人生底憂慮，但是他們減輕關(guān)于死亡的記憶。由生殖而傳種是動物同有的;但是名聲、德行與功業(yè)則是人類特有的;而最偉大的事業(yè)是從無后嗣的人來的這種事實也是確實可見的;這些人是在他們底軀體底影象無從表現(xiàn)之后努力想表現(xiàn)他們精神底影象的。所以，無后代的人倒是最關(guān)心后代的人了。首先樹立家業(yè)的人們是對于他們底子嗣最為縱容的;他們把子嗣看做不但是本族底繼嗣，而且也是自己事業(yè)底繼續(xù);因此，他們對自己底子嗣與自己所造的事物都是一樣的看法。

the difference in affection of parents towards their several children is many times unequal; and sometimes unworthy; especially in the mother, as solomon saith; a wise son rejoiceth the father, but an ungracious son shames the mother.

父母對子嗣之間的慈愛往往是不平均的，而且有時是不合理的。尤其以母親底愛為然;如所羅門所說：“智慧之子使父親歡樂，愚昧之子使母親蒙羞”。

a man shall see, where there is a house full of children, one or two of the eldest respected, and the youngest made wantons; but in the midst, some mat are, as it were forgotten, who many times, nevertheless, prove the best the illiberality of parents, in allowance towards their children, is an harmful error, makes them base; acquaints them with shifts; makes them sort with mean company; and makes them surfeit more, when they come to plenty: and therefore, the proof is best, when men keep their authority towards their children, but not their purse. men have a foolish manner (both parents, and schoolmasters, and servants) in creating and breeding an emulation between brothers, during childhood, which many times sorted to discord, when they are men; and disturbed! families. the italians make little difference between children, and nephews, or near kinsfolk; but so they be of the lump, they care not, though they passe not through

their own body. and, to say truth, in nature it is much a like matter, in so much,

that we see a nephew sometimes resembleth an uncle, or a kinsman, more then his own parent; as the blood happens. let parents choose betimes the vocations and courses they mean their children should take; for then they are most flexible; and let them not too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children, as thinking they will take best to mat, which they have most mind to. it is true, that if the affection or aptness of the children be extraordinary, then it is good not to cross it; but generally, the precept is good; optimum eli ge, suave et facile illud faciet consuetude). younger brothers are commonly fortunate, but seldom or never where the elder are disinherited.

常見在一子嗣滿堂的家中，有一兩個最長的受尊重，還有最幼的受過度的縱容;但是居中的幾個則好象被人忘卻了似的，而他們卻往往成為最好的子嗣。父母在對兒子應(yīng)給的銀錢上吝嗇，是一種有害的錯誤;這使得他們卑賤;使他們學(xué)會取巧;使他們與下流人為伍;使他們到了富饒的時候容易貪欲無度。因此為父母者若對他們底子嗣在管理上嚴(yán)密，而在錢包上寬松，則其結(jié)果是最好的。人們(父母，師傅，仆役皆然)有一種不智的習(xí)慣，就是當(dāng)?shù)苄謧冊谕甑臅r候，在他們之間養(yǎng)成一種的爭競。其結(jié)果往往在他們成人的時候，弟兄不和，并且擾亂家庭。意大利人在自己底子女及侄甥或近親之間無所分別;只要他們是本族，即令非己身所出，亦不介意。說真的，在自然界亦大類此;我們看見有時侄子象伯父或叔父或某位近親而不甚象自己底父親，這是血氣使然。由此可見以上所言之不謬也。為父母者當(dāng)及時選擇在他們意中他們底子嗣所當(dāng)從事的職業(yè)及訓(xùn)練;因為在那個時候他們最易訓(xùn)導(dǎo);同時為父母者亦不可過于注意子嗣底傾向，以為他們心中所最好的他們會最為樂就。如果子嗣底所好和能力是超群的，那末最好不要拂逆他，這是真的;但是就一般而言，下面這句話是很好的：就是“選擇最好的(職業(yè)或訓(xùn)練)，習(xí)慣會使它成為合適而且容易的”。兄弟中為幼弟者多半結(jié)局良好，但假如長兄輩被剝奪或削除繼承權(quán)，則鮮有或永無如是者矣。