We often close ourselves off when traumatic events happen in our lives; instead of letting the world soften us, we let it drive us deeper into ourselves. We try to deflect the hurt and pain by pretending it doesn’t exist, but although we can try this all we want, in the end, we can’t hide from ourselves. We need to learn to open our hearts to the potentials of life and let the world soften us.

生活發生不幸時，我們常常會關上心門;世界不僅沒能慰藉我們，反倒使我們更加消沉。我們假裝一切仿佛都不曾發生，以此試圖忘卻傷痛，可就算隱藏得再好，最終也還是騙不了自己。既然如此，何不嘗試打開心門，擁抱生活中的各種可能，讓世界感化我們呢?

Whenever we start to let our fears and seriousness get the best of us, we should take a step back and re-evaluate our behavior. The items listed below are six ways you can open your heart more fully and completely.

當恐懼與焦慮來襲時，我們應該退后一步，重新反思自己的言行。下面六個方法有助于你更完滿透徹地敞開心扉。

1. Breathe into pain

直面痛苦

Whenever a painful situation arises in your life, try to embrace it instead of running away or trying to mask the hurt. When the sadness strikes, take a deep breath and lean into it. When we run away from sadness that’s unfolding in our lives, it gets stronger and more real. We take an emotion that’s fleeting and make it a solid event, instead of something that passes through us.

當生活中出現痛苦的事情時，別再逃跑或隱藏痛苦，試著擁抱它吧;當悲傷來襲時，試著深呼吸，然后直面它。如果我們一味逃避生活中的悲傷，悲傷只會變得更強烈更真實——悲傷原本只是稍縱即逝的情緒，我們卻固執地耿耿于懷。

By utilizing our breath we soften our experiences. If we dam them up, our lives will stagnate, but when we keep them flowing, we allow more newness and greater experiences to blossom.

深呼吸能減緩我們的感受。屏住呼吸，生活停滯;呼出呼吸，更多新奇與經歷又將拉開序幕。

2. Embrace the uncomfortable

擁抱不安

We all know what that twinge of anxiety feels like. We know how fear feels in our bodies: the tension in our necks, the tightness in our stomachs, etc. We can practice leaning into these feelings of discomfort and let them show us where we need to go.

我們都經歷過焦灼的煎熬感，也都感受過恐懼造成的生理反應：脖子僵硬、胃酸翻騰。其實，我們有能力面對這些痛苦的感受，從中領悟到出路。

The initial impulse is to run away — to try and suppress these feelings by not acknowledging them. When we do this, we close ourselves off to the parts of our lives that we need to experience most. The next time you have this feeling of being truly uncomfortable, do yourself a favor and lean into the feeling. Act in spite of the fear.

我們的第一反應總是逃避——以為否認不安情緒的存在就能萬事大吉，可這也恰好妨礙了我們經歷最需要的生活體驗。下次感到不安時，不管有多害怕，也請試著勇敢面對吧。

3. Ask your heart what it wants

傾聽內心

We’re often confused at the next step to take, making pros and cons lists until our eyes bleed and our brains are sore. Instead of always taking this approach, what if we engaged a new part of ourselves that isn’t usually involved in the decision making process?

我們常對未來猶疑不定，反復考慮利弊直到身心俱疲。與其一味顧慮重重，不如從局外人的角度看待決策之事。

I know we’ve all felt decisions or actions that we had to take simply due to our “gut” impulses: when asked, we can’t explain the reasons behind doing so — just a deep knowing that it had to get done. This instinct is the part of ourselves we’re approaching for answers.

其實很多決定或行動都是我們一念之間的結果：要是追問原因的話，恐怕我們自己也道不清說不明，只是感到直覺如此罷了。而這種直覺恰好是我們探索結果的潛在自我。

To start this process, take few deep breaths then ask, “Heart, what decision should I make here? What action feels the most right?”

開始前先做幾次深呼吸，問自己：“內心認為該做什么樣的決定呢?覺得采取哪個方案最恰當?”

See what comes up, then engage and evaluate the outcome.

看看自己的內心反應如何，然后全力以赴、靜待結果吧。

4. Engage your shadow

了解陰暗面

Many of us who are on the personal development path get caught up in embracing characteristics we want to have, like happiness, compassion, love, and passion. In this pursuit we end up losing parts of ourselves that make us whole, such as suppressing our negative qualities instead of engaging them. Try asking yourself a few questions:

很多人在成長過程中都或多或少養成期望的性格，比如快樂、同情、愛心以及激情等等;與此同時，我們也會陷入消極壓抑的品性。這時，你就要問問自己：

What parts of myself could I do without?

我有哪些可以完全拋棄的性格?

How do I get in my own way?

有哪些品性會妨礙我的成長?

Is there anything I’m hiding from myself?

我對自己是不是足夠誠實坦白?

Don’t be afraid of what comes out; you might want to run from the answers, but instead, acknowledge them and be with them as much as possible. Once you’re a little clearer about what exactly you’ve been hiding, from it gets easier to shine your light on it.

別害怕最終得出的結果，也別逃避，相反，你應該面對并盡量接受現實。如果你能確切了解自己的陰暗面，也就更容易去改正。

5. Spend time alone

享受獨處

For most of our lives we’re surrounded by people: our friends, colleagues, peers, family members, loved ones, and strangers. How often do we really spend time alone?

大部分人身邊總不缺陪伴：朋友、同事、同伴、親人、愛侶，還有陌生人。那么，怎樣才能真正獨處呢?

When you spend time in solitude, you’re free from the influences of other people, and can truly open yourself and explore whatever you’d like. See where your thoughts take you. The golden ticket here is to not let yourself become distracted; just see what it’s like to be alone.

獨處使人免受他人干擾，能讓我們真正敞開心懷去探究所喜所惡，讓自己跟著思緒游走——一定要保持專心，用心體會獨處的曼妙。

It might be painful or even scary at first, but by opening yourself up to these new feelings, you’ll add a whole new layer of depth, experience, and understanding into your life.

一開始可能會感到痛苦甚至惶恐，可一旦敞開心胸面對這些感受，你便能達到更高一層境界，收獲別樣的經驗，也更理解自己的生活。

6. Get outside of yourself

走出自我

This may seem a little contradictory to the last tip, but in reality, they actually work hand-in-hand. After you’ve explored the depths of yourself, you come away with a new understanding.

這和前一個建議貌似有點矛盾，但其實兩者卻是相輔相成的。獨處之后，你對自己獲得了全新了解。

Now, it’s time to share that — not through telling others, but through being with others.

然后，你應該把它分享出來——當然，這不是要你直接把它告知與人，而是要求你通過與人交往進行分享。

When you’re in a group of people, try to give them your full energy and attention so you can understand them just as you did yourself. Appreciate their uniqueness, as if they are an extension of you. Lose yourself in the beauty of others; see what they can teach you about yourself.

當你與人交往時，請試著用心去了解他們，就好比你用心了解自己一樣。感同身受地欣賞他們的個性、觀察他們的優點，看看自己能從中學到什么。

Remember, there’s no need to do every one of these at the same time. Take each one a day at a time, determine which work best for you, and see what you can discover.

請記住：以上建議并不要求你一氣呵成，你可以每天嘗試一個，選擇最適合自己的建議，看看自己能從中收獲什么。

（兼職編輯：張博）